A recent article by Elle Kaplan defined effective listening as “giving your complete, intentional focus to what someone says, rather than what their words mean.” Effective listening requires active listening, which the University of the People defines as “a soft skill that directs the focus from what’s in our head to the words coming from the outside. By being able to focus on what another person is saying, we can understand needs and information more accurately.”
We all love being listened to, one thing quiet people tend to be good at. The more comprehensively we are listened to, the more we respond. We fall in love with people who listen to us, we vote for people who listen to us, and we buy products and services from people who listen to us. Listening is one of the most influential skills available to us. If you are a quiet soul you are ahead of the game. The act of keeping one’s mouth shut is one of the skills that make us a good listener.
By understanding the three levels of listening are:
1) Be present,
2) form an emotional connection,
3)Listen in an empowering way.
We can learn what to do to become more effective in our ability to listen to others. It may not be easy, but being committed to healthy communications and relationships means identifying our judgments and then doing whatever we can to move through them, which will allow us to listen to others in an empowering way.
The great leaders today convey the message less and listen more. If we reflect on any great leader we’ll see that they are adept at reading between the lines. They have the uncanny ability to understand what is not said, heard, or witnessed. The first rule in communication is to seek understanding before seeking to be understood. Communication is not a one-way street. The big miss for most leaders is they fail to understand the purpose of communication is not to message, but to engage – THIS REQUIRES LISTENING!
But to develop the skill of listening we shouldn’t just listen to people who agree with us but rather actively seek out dissenting opinions and thoughts. We should listen to those who confront us, challenge us, stretch us, and lastly develop us. Benjamin Franklin said, “Speak little, do much.” We’ll find a lot of great talkers, but great listeners are a rare commodity.
Listening is a great skill that is hard to find nowadays and the patience you need to be a good listener is very rare. William Ury gives a speech on The Power Of Listening. He explains how it is a good portion of communication and it is necessary to do. He asks questions like, “But how much listening can there be with so much interruption and distraction?” throughout the speech and he would answer them right away and some with personal experiences. He gave what he was saying and answered by having personal stories, which made it credible and interesting like the story of when he was talking to the President of Venezuela. These stories are what got the audience’s attention and what his point of the topic was. He talked about how he listens to others at work with all his attention and when he is home he does not listen as well to what his wife is saying because he is tired from work. This is something the audience can relate to and would maintain good listening and interest in the topic. He also gave solutions on how to listen and this made the audience think about if we are listening or hearing.
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Writer
Tasmia Sharmin Rimi
Intern
Content Writing Department
Youth School for Social Entrepreneur