The Manipulator is aware of a person’s weakness and will repeatedly demand submission in order to serve the Manipulator’s interests. Manipulators usually expect an immediate response in order to maximise the pressure and, in this case, control you. But they are not evil geniuses, nor invincible. All you need is the perfect strategy.
“There are people whose main ability is to turn the steering wheel. It’s their second skin, without those spinning wheels they just don’t know how to operate.”
― C. JoyBell C
For these situations, there are techniques you can use to disarm the manipulator in your life. However, standing up to bullies often might make you hold back. When confronting a bully, make sure you put yourself in a position where you can write a bully log to keep track of their bad behaviour. Six techniques are mentioned here:
1.Don’t give them motivation
Don’t give people the opportunity to manipulate you. For example, if you have a colleague who likes to offer minimal “help”, you may owe them some by not accepting their favour.
2. Set Consequence
Deploy consequences when a psychological manipulator persists in violating your boundaries and doesn’t take “no” for an answer. Effectively expressed by the
Following gives the manipulator pause, forcing them to shift from aggression to respect.
3. Can say “no”
Diplomat but firm. A clear “no” allows you to hold on and maintain a viable relationship.
4. Using time to your advantage
Manipulators generally want an immediate response in order to maximise the pressure and control you in the situation. Don’t answer right away, but say you’ll think about it and use the time. Take the time to evaluate the pros and cons of a situation, and consider whether to negotiate or just say no.
5. Avoid personalization and self-blame
The manipulator’s program is to exploit your weaknesses and it’s understandable that you may feel like you’re not good enough or blame yourself for not satisfying the manipulator. In these cases, it’s important to remember that you’re being manipulated into making you feel bad about yourself, and that’s not your fault, or the problem at hand.
6. Keep your distance
One way to identify manipulators is to observe how they behave in different companies and situations. When you regularly observe such behaviour from someone, maintain a healthy distance and avoid contact with that person unless absolutely necessary. They are not easy to change and it is not always up to you to change or save them.
Conclusion
Manipulation is about power and control. The more you can get these things back from the manipulator, the happier you will be. The strategies discussed are helpful tools, but having support is important.
Seek professional help or advice if you feel trapped in a manipulative relationship. A qualified therapist can suggest strategies that are appropriate for your situation. Use your precious time to enhance your life. Look for the signs shared in the article to identify if someone is manipulating you and taking advantage of you, talk to them and address the issue.
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Written by,
Gazi Mohammed Muntasir Kabir
Intern, Content writing Department
YSSE.